This morning I had an epiphany. As I was reading my Bible I was thinking about how insufficient the disciples were. I was reading in Matthew where he describes the feeding of the 5000, and was amazed that these disciples did not trust the power of Christ. They become scared at the storm (and at Jesus walking toward them) and He has to calm them with these words:
“Take heart, it is I. Don’t be afraid.”
And yet, I am so foolish. I think somehow that I can do life on my own – that I can teach with my strength, that I can find motivation to follow Christ on my own, that I will be able to live without Him.
And somehow in this foolishness I think that there will someday be a point where I won’t need Him. Where I’ll be able to just coast down the hill of the spiritual life with my act all together.
But it doesn’t work like that. Christ is sufficient in my insufficiency. He is strong in my weakness. He reached into my spiritual bankruptcy and saved me – and He didn’t just do it once, He does it daily. I didn’t just need Him to save me from hell, I need Him to save me from my own pride and foolishness.
I can’t do this on my own – not at the point of my salvation, not yesterday, not today. I am completely insufficent to motivate myself, to be a “good” teacher, to do anything.
But He is. Oh how He is. In Him is life, and all he asks of us “is to bring to His fullness your emptiness—to His sympathy your grief—to His unerring wisdom your confusion—and to His sheltering wing your temptations and trials.” (Octavius Winslow)
I must confess today and every day with the Psalmist that I am poor and needy, and I will find His hand quick to rescue.